Meeting Up - The Suzhou Hashers met at the Blue Marlin at a slightly earlier time than normal, as the drive out to Tiahu Lake is quite long.
Many regular faces were missing including Agatha and other hashers who normally attend due to “… other commitments …” Obviously these hashers have forgotten Hash Commandments No. 1 and 4, so your RA will repeat them at the end of this Hash Trash.
Quite a few of the hashers that did turn up were seen to be sporting the smart, snazzy, new Suzhou H3 cap (get your order in early as there are only a limited number of these highly desirable and soon to become collectable head adornments available – see the Hash Haberdasher LTTB to get yours)
Because of the absentees, the turn out from Suzhou was a pretty low, 15 made up of 11 hashers + the 4 Hares.
Luckily joining this trail were 3 Hashes from Shanghai (The Drunken Dragons H3, The Taiping H3, The Full Moon H3, and Suzhou were honoured to also have in attendance members of the DOGs H3 – Distinguished Overseas Gentlemen H3) plus one lone Wuxi Hasher Wild Wenzi giving a new record-setting number of 52 Hashers in total.
The buses rendezvoused after the bridge that leads onto Xishan Island and, after a short comfort stop, the buses followed the lead hare to the start of the trail for the Chalk Talk, then it was off to search for the start of the trail.
The Trail – After some misleading shouts of on-on by some of the Shanghai hashers who clearly hadn’t paid attention in the Chalk Talk, the pack quickly picked up the true trail and went off through a village and then out and up into the open countryside and mountain terrain around the lake. The start of the trail had the runners and walkers together but after some slightly confusing marking - open checks that were not closed down and one check leading straight onto another check, the trail split into runner and walkers.
Because of this split, the snails were the first to arrive at the (suspiciously early) beer stop.
The second part of the trail was, well what can only be modestly described as excellent, a nice mix of flat running and low hills, a few villages to add variety (and to let the locals watch as the crazy hashers passed by) nice and shiggy in places with some low hanging branches which the tall hashers had to dodge, plus the odd ditch or two for all to negotiate.
The trail went through peach orchards and tea plantations before running along a ridge which gave excellent views of the lake (mist permitting).
Finally after a brief run along a road, the “Beer Near” and then the “On In” signs were spotted, the hashers duly arrived at the designated “On In” held in the car park of a local tourist attraction.
The Circle - Our old friend Igor put in an appearance again for two namings, Neil who henceforth shall be forever known as Woodpecker and Gary who was forever named Zorbaroo. Woodpecker obviously became quite attached to the naming attire as, like a visiting GM commented, he seemed reluctant to take it off.
As usual the Bedpans were used for special down downs (GM’s) and a serious block of ice made a welcome appearance at a Suzhou hash, this was well used. Pre-castPrick of the Dragons was there, as he had announced to everyone before the begin of the Circle just how much he’d like to be able to sit during the Circle and the Suzhou Hash was quick to oblige him. JohnnyWad had to put in some time on ice for the unforgivable offense of inviting a mother and her three year old child to a Hash which had clearly been marked as ‘adults only’. Our own Zorbaroo was also one of the people lucky enough to be invited to sit on the ice.
This was the first hash were we used our new Beer Van and Beer Table, both were excellent idea’s and proved to be quite helpful and popular.
The usual accusations and charges were made and the down downs were many. The emblem of “support” which Tiny Tim had been hoarding for himself for several hashes in a row was awarded to Suzhou hasher Sam, - who was made to strip half naked before wearing it, so that the full effect could be observed. (some say) Handsome Sam received many admiring wolf whistles and ribald comments. However he was soon seen to be in trouble trying to remove the emblem of “support” prompting nicely suntanned Dessy to gallantly assist him to remove it.
Although the P. of the Month and the Sausage did not put in an appearance on this hash they are known to still exist and are ready to reappear should they be required – YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Out of common courtesy the other GM’s were given the opportunity to take control of circle for their own charges, with all in fine form although it must be said that Goldilox the GM of the Shanghai Drunken Dragons was in slightly better form than most, as his special apron showed.
Phantom Flasher was as always seen to be scurrying round the circle recording for posterity the antics of the various hashers.
The Bash – At the restaurant unfortunately the group were split up in different rooms but it was still OK, with what some might say were the superior people on an upper mezzanine level from where they had a grandstand view of the male hashers relieving themselves in the car park at the front of the restaurant! The food was good but there could have been more of it but there was nothing wrong with the usual friendly social atmosphere and banter.
After the meal the hashers grouped together for a song or two, Goldilox was par excellent at leading the singing, he was ably backed up and accompanied by members of his own hash, our own Tiny Tim shared a few of his classic tunes with the group, and even MasterKater introduced the first verse of a new Suzhou hash song. However, it must be said that overall, Singing at Suzhou Hashes by Suzhou Hashers MUST improve. Unfortunately due the distances travelled to this Hash, the Bash had to be brought to an early end so as to allow the visiting hashers return to their respective abodes/Bars
As is now becoming almost customary, on their return to Suzhou several of the Suzhou hashers – the usual suspects, no names, no pack drill - were seen to retire into the Blue Marlin to enjoy a sociable “nightcap”– this time WITHOUT being almost asked to leave for drinking their own Hash Brew.
Now a reminder for all old hashers and religious teaching for all new hashers
The Hash Commandments
1 Thou shalt hold no other before the Hash.
2 Thou shalt not make any graven Hash Mark, nor Beer Near, nor any other offensive mark that unfairly impedes the Pack from its pursuit of the On In and the Beer.
3 Thou shalt not take the Hash Name of a hasher in vain, for the RA will not hold a hasher guiltless that taketh a Hasher's name in vain.
4 Remember the Hash day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the Hash: in it shalt thou do no work, thou, not thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, not thy maidservant, not thy cattle, not thy stranger that is within thy gates. For in six days did Gispert toil, yet ran Hash on the seventh: wherefore he blessed the Hash day, and hallowed it for all others.
5 Honour thy Religious Advisor and the Pack that thy days without Down-Downs may be many.
6 Thou shalt not cause others to be Dead On Trail by setting a poor trail nor removing Hash markings.
7 Thou shalt not expectorate, urinate, defecate, masturbate nor fornicate on the holy Hash trail.
8 Thou shalt not steal thy fellow hasher's banner, nor his bugle, nor his hashit; nor shalt thou short the Hash Cash nor filch the Beer, for the holy water must be replenished and the Hash must never run out of Beer.
9 Thou shalt not bear false witness against another hasher.
10 Thou shalt not covet thy fellow hasher's bugle, not his whistle, not his mug, nor his bottle-opener, nor his wife, nor his mistress, nor shalt thou mention his position nor his job nor his place of work.
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