The Suzhou Kennel’s first run started off a bit inauspiciously. It was an A to B city run, with a dead-hare trail. Rain threatened and of the 17 Harriers who had said they’d be there, it seemed that most had gotten stuck on a bar stool or somehow lost on the way. However, we were able to pull in 8 nationalities for the first run, so it was quite a mixed group. Co-hare Gary was there well in advance to meet the crowds and King Piss, Katie and Ivana all arrived at the Gloria Plaza unfashionably early. Tiny Tim, Grace and Sinead rolled in right as the clock struck two. Agatha was there with the Hash Car well-supplied with cold beer and other necessities.

Tiny Tim won the Hash Fashion prize with his Beijing Hashman shirt and King Piss’ shiny running shoes aroused suspicion, though it was later confirmed that they had 500 km on the odometer already and were simply freshly-washed and not newly-purchased as some suspected.

The hares had set up a dual trail through the city; one for the runners and a snail trail that occasionally intersected. The blue runners’ markings were quite clear, but the white flour marks seemed to match the lime and paint used in local construction, but off we went. The run took us over hill and vale. Well not really. The run took us through picturesque cobblestone streets, down quaint alleyways along Suzhou canals and through part of the Suzhou University old campus. At one point, we did have to stop and walk respectfully through a carpeted administrative building (the Old Suzhou Clock Tower) to come out onto the grassy mall on the other side. Katie’s wearing of the new signature SZH3 Hash Trinket, the Blue-Eyed Mask did raise a few eyebrows among the suited staff members of the admin building, but we all managed to escape unscathed. The Hares helpfully played the role of FRB (front-running bastards), thus reducing the risk of anyone’s checking their markings too, too carefully, and at one stage, the Hares even invited the other runners to take a shortcut route that had been marked out while the FRBs ran on ahead. For this, and also as punishment for the lack of any markings but a few patches of white flour on a street torn up by construction on the so-called ‘shortcut’, the Hares were put to shame in the subsequent down-down. The knitting circle on the snail trail, left to their own devices, managed to find point B of the run, despite the fact that all flour markings in Guihua Park had been swept away by Suzhou’s army of mop-wielding street cleaners. The short-cutters arrived about 5 minutes after the knitting circle, followed by the FRBs, and Hares. The down-down was held on the ramparts of the ancient southeast city gate, overlooking the moat that surrounds Suzhou. Though full knowledge of the down-down proceedings remain with those who were there, let it suffice to say that all those who had committed misdeeds were dealt with properly, including the FRB Hares!

As we were setting off for the Bash, held at Jack’s Place Italian Restaurant and Bar, a few drops of rain started to fall, but nothing that interfered with the good cheer of the gathering. It was a great party at Jack’s, who generously provided our H3 group with buy one-get one free beer and pizza, and a good time was had by all.

Hash Trash number 1 signing off with the comment that if this seems to long-winded, you only have yourself to blame for not knowing what happened at Run No. 1 and having to depend on this epistle for your news and gossip.